The Broken Relationship – Grief
Not many people understand that there are 5 stages to dealing with broken relationship grief. Most people know they feel pain that goes on and on, that lessens and increases accordingly, but understanding that there are actually 5 stages is not something that is very common.
Understanding where you are, what you’re feeling and going through is all part of the rich tapestry of broken relationship grief. There’s no doubt that understanding the process can help you cope with the inevitable pain much easier.
Stage 1 Denial
As the name suggests this is where you do your best to convince yourself that your breakup didn’t really happen. You try and tell yourself that your ex made a mistake, that they’ll be back and it will all be great again.
In this stage, there are often no tears because the reality hasn’t sunk in yet or you are not accepting or even acknowledging your loss.
Stage 2 Anger
This is when you start flying off the handle with your nearest and dearests or your work collegues. You begin to take out your feelings on others.
Stage 3 Bargaining
This is a crucial stage and it can play a huge part in whether you successfully get your ex back or not. At this stage in a broken relationship, you begin to try and tell your ex that you’ll change if they come back! If they come back you’ll love them better than ever! That you’ll buy them that fancy sports car! That you’ll be a better person. Your bargaining might even involve God.
Step 4 Grief
The next step in dealing with broken relationship grief is depression. In this stage you may feel extremely sad or completely overwhelmed with hopelessness, frustration, bitterness, feeling sorry for yourself, and mourning. Here, any unacknowledged emotions have caught up with you and they’re in full force. You see a different future than what you may be used to seeing and feel defenseless and numb.
Stage 5 Acceptance
Finally, and fortunately, you hit the acceptance stage. Here is where you accept the mistakes you have made and the results of those mistakes. Here is where you accept that the person is out of your life, or at least will not play the same role as they have until recently. It’s important to note that acceptance is not resignation. You are not giving up in this stage. On the contrary, it is only now that you can start to gradually build your goals for the future and leave your relationship in the past.
Eventually, you will get to the point that you can appreciate what you have learned in this tough period. It’s also a good idea to get help or have a good friend that you can confide in regularly. Remember that you are not alone by any means and that you will survive, as have thousands of others when dealing with broken relationship grief.
Where you go from this point is up to you. Do you try and get your ex back or do you move on with your life without your ex? Only you can know for sure, but whichever it is, you will know.
.
Magic of Making Up
