How to Stop Being Needy
So you’re at the point where your relationship is over but you’re still feeling desperate and you’re feeling needy. You want to find out how to stop being needy because it is putting you in a weak situation with your ex and whether you want to get your ex back or just move on with your life, it’s vital that you stop being needy right now!
But what do people mean when they talk about being ‘needy’? Basically if you are always looking to someone else to give you validation, to give meaning to your life and you feel panicked and worthless without them and their validation, then you’re a needy person. If you constantly need someone to bolster you up and hold you up emotionally, then you’re a needy person and it can be a destructive emotional drain on the person you want the validation from and for yourself.
Time to Stop Being Needy Now
The first thing you need to do is to take some time out and be kind to yourself. If your relationship ended and you’re still in love with your ex, then you really do need to give yourself a break and be good to yourself. What you’re going through is almost like a bereavement and that really does take time to get over. So if you’re acting all needy, then it is not really a surprise.
Re-connect with your family and friends and stop fixating and obsessing on your ex. If you have something to do by way of keeping busy then you will have less time to want to contact your ex.
Make sure you break all contact with your ex. This is not going to be easy, but it’s vital you do. If you don’t and you’re calling your ex or trying to see them, then you will only fall deeper into neediness. Plus if you have real hopes of getting your ex back then calling them because you can’t make it through the day on your own, is a bad signal to them and will send them in the opposite direction.
Someone who can control themselves and who is not needy is someone who is desired and wanted. If you want to get your ex back then it really is time to stop being needy.
If you need some more help with this, then contact me through the contact page and I’ll help you get to a more comfortable place emotionally.
Dealing with Break Up Pain the Wrong Way
Simple Tips To Get Your Ex Back
I get emails all the time asking for some simple and straightforward steps to “get my ex back!” And I completely understand why I get these desperate emails. People are desperate and when they get desperate it’s very easy to panic and start running around blindly doing counter-intuitive stuff. But if you really want to get your ex back, then here are some vital steps you should think about taking.
The first thing to accept is that sometimes no matter what you do or what you don’t do, your ex may not come back to you. Some relationships are over when they’re over and if you can’t accept that and work at moving on, then you’re in for a tough time.
But if yours is one of the relationships that can be saved and you really want to get your ex back, then here’s how you go about it.
- Let your ex know that you don’t want to lose him/her. Let them know that they’re still important to you.
- Make your ex see that they don’t want to lose you either. You can best do this by not panicking when the breakup is announced. You might be stricken inside, but let your ex know that you understand why they left and that you admire them for taking the decision.
- Avoid creating drama and emotional terror when you’re with your ex, if you want to get your ex back, then you have to get your emotions in check and be someone who your ex will admire and desire.
- If you want to get back with your ex, then you should take some time to get your head together, but once you’ve done that your goal should be to work towards a healthy and happy relationship with your ex and then see if there is really a chance the two of you can make a go of it.
- Once you get to the friendship stage, you should make sure that the levels of communication between you and your ex are healthy and strong. However you communicated in the past didn’t work, so develop new and stable methods.
So avoid looking desperate and needy! Cut out the panic as quickly as you can! Take some time on your own to get your head together and then work at a positive friendship.
If you want to get your ex back and are 100% serious about that, then this is as easier way to get them back as I know.
Be good to yourself, Dana!
Remember you can contact me directly for any help and advice, or information on The Magic Of Making Up right here…
The 5 Stages Of Losing Your Love
The 7 Stages Of Losing Your Love
Losing the one you love can be broken down into 7 clear stages. Where you are and how long you stay in any given stage varies greatly from individual to individual and also what kind of relationship you were in.
Reading through the stages, MAY help you understand what you’re feeling and why you’re feeling it.
1) SHOCK
When our partner walks out on us telling us the relationship is over, the first thing we usually feel is shock. It’s classic human behavior when hit with something traumatic. The body almost shuts down and goes into preservation mode.
2) PANIC
When the shock passes, we head slap bang into panic. We start trying to grab whatever is in reach inorder to stop ourselves going under. That’s why we often do things we regret when we are in panic mode: like calling our ex constantly, showing up at their place of work and causing a scene.
3) CONFUSION
Next we head on into a confused state. We don’t really know where to go and what to do to get back what we had. We might try a mixture of strategies at this point to get our exs back, but because of the state we’re in, none of it will work.
4) DISBELIEF
This is when we try to trick ourselves that our exs will come back to us without us even doing anything. Disbelief or denial, calling it whatever you will, it’s simply us trying to medicate the state we’re in because we can’t cope with it. We simply cannot compute that our ex has left and we find some comfort in this state. If we don’t believe it, then it can’t hurt us! “She/He’ll be back! She/He’s gonna want me back!” Ever found yourself thinking, saying that?
5) DESPAIR
This is when it hits us hard! We begin to break down emotionally because we can no longer hold back the pain that we are feeling. We let in the true emotional pain that we are feeling and it sits heavy on us.
6) LOSS OF A DREAM
This is not really a state in it’s own right, it is simply a realization that the dream of a life that we shared with our ex has gone. It can be a crushing blow when you realize this and it is often this loss that will hold someone in a negative space for longer than any. We just can’t come to terms that the holiday we planned to take with our ex next year will just never happen.
7) GRIEF
We mourn the relationship/the loss of a dream. It is like a death and can often take months and years to get past the grief of a relationship that ended before it had to.
Magic of Making Up
