Stop Being a Needy and Jealous Man

June 2, 2010 · Filed Under Breaking Up · Comment 

Being needy and jealous often go hand in hand!  If you’re a man who recognizes that you fall into this group and you want to do something to change that part of you, then you need this information.

The fact is that to stop being needy as a guy, you need to accept and realize that your girlfriend is 100% allowed to have her own life and she does not have to answer to you to have that life.  Accept that fact and then the rest of your attempt to stop being needy as a man will be way easier on you.

Tips To Help You Stop Being Needy as a Man

1) Make sure that you have a life!  Stay in contact with your friends and have regular days/nights out with your friends.  That way, when your girlfriend decides she wants to see her friends or simply spend some time alone, it won’t be a big deal for you.

2) Positively encourage your girlfriend in whatever she wants to do to help her grow.  If your girlfriend feels supported and feels that you are giving her the space to grow, instead of hemming and trapping her in a corner where you want her to be, then she will love you the more.

3) Discover what is driving your insecurities because as sure as night follows day, the reason you need to stop being a needy man is because something is making you insecure.  If you’ve had a bad childhood, a bad relationship in the past, if your ability to trust has been damaged, then YOU need to address that and not put those negative feelings onto your girlfriend and your relationship.  Doing so will severely damage your relationship and might even ruin it for good.

If you need to find a professional to talk to about your problems, then please do so.

4) Enjoy seeing your girlfriend happy.  If you genuinely love her, then you want nothing but happiness and the best for her.  You don’t want to wind up controlling her life and laying down the law on her.  That means you must let her go and come as she pleases.  Never try to control her.

5) On the same note, you don’t have to like all her friends, but you do have to let her have her friends.  And it doesn’t matter if those friends are male or female!  Trying to stop her having a particular friend or friends because you don’t like or trust them, is a surefire way to push her away.

The bottom line to stop being a needy man is to stop trying to hold onto her and asking her to hold you up!  You must look after you and she must be allowed to look after herself – only then will the two of you come together in a healthy and nurturing way.

If you fail to stop being a needy man, then your relationship probably won’t last as long as you hope and even if you do both manage to hang on to each other, neither of you will be happy.

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Help!  He Called Off the Wedding!

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Help! He Called Off the Wedding!

May 4, 2010 · Filed Under Breaking Up · Comments Off 

Ok, so the big day was approaching pretty quickly and out of nowhere, your fiance ups and tells you that they want out! They give no explanation, apart from the usual and the vague “everything’s moving too fast!” “It’s not you, it’s me!” And now you’re down right confused and you want to know desperately how to win your fiance back because you love and miss them.

Well your first step is to absolutely put no more pressure on your fiance!

It doesn’t matter if the big day is looming fast, rather than end up pushing your fiance further away, let your fiance have some time on their own and make no attempt to pressurize them or give them any ultimatums about the wedding.

Your fiance needs some time to work out what’s going on for them and they will respect you and come back to you far quicker if you give them some space.

The next thing to do when it comes to figuring out how to win your fiance back is to understand that whatever is going on for your fiance, it doesn’t necessarily have to do with the way that they feel about you. Marriage is a huge commitment and the panic that has set in in your fiance’s mind could simply do with a fear of commitment, rather than questioning their love for you.

Now once you’ve given your fiance some time to think things through and regroup, your next step in regard to how to win your fiance back involves you calmly and gently sitting down with your fiance and explain how you feel and allowing your fiance to explain how they feel.

Be sure to listen and be sure to stay calm!

Your next step when it comes to figuring out how to win your fiance back, involves using an expert guide that will really help you discover how to talk to your fiance so that you give yourself the best chance at winning your fiance back.

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The Broken Relationship – Grief

The Broken Relationship – Grief

February 2, 2010 · Filed Under Breaking Up · Comments Off 

Not many people understand that there are 5 stages to dealing with broken relationship grief.  Most people know they feel pain that goes on and on, that lessens and increases accordingly, but understanding that there are actually 5 stages is not something that is very common.

Understanding where you are, what you’re feeling and going through is all part of the rich tapestry of broken relationship grief.  There’s no doubt that understanding the process can help you cope with the inevitable pain much easier.

Stage 1 Denial

As the name suggests this is where you do your best to convince yourself that your breakup didn’t really happen.  You try and tell yourself that your ex made a mistake, that they’ll be back and it will all be great again.

In this stage, there are often no tears because the reality hasn’t sunk in yet or you are not accepting or even acknowledging your loss.

Stage 2 Anger

This is when you start flying off the handle with your nearest and dearests or your work collegues.  You begin to take out your feelings on others.

Stage 3 Bargaining 

This is a crucial stage and it can play a huge part in whether you successfully get your ex back or not.  At this stage in a broken relationship, you begin to try and tell your ex that you’ll change if they come back!  If they come back you’ll love them better than ever!  That you’ll buy them that fancy sports car!  That you’ll be a better person.  Your bargaining might even involve God.

Step 4 Grief

The next step in dealing with broken relationship grief is depression. In this stage you may feel extremely sad or completely overwhelmed with hopelessness, frustration, bitterness, feeling sorry for yourself, and mourning. Here, any unacknowledged emotions have caught up with you and they’re in full force. You see a different future than what you may be used to seeing and feel defenseless and numb.

Stage 5 Acceptance

Finally, and fortunately, you hit the acceptance stage. Here is where you accept the mistakes you have made and the results of those mistakes. Here is where you accept that the person is out of your life, or at least will not play the same role as they have until recently. It’s important to note that acceptance is not resignation. You are not giving up in this stage. On the contrary, it is only now that you can start to gradually build your goals for the future and leave your relationship in the past. 

Eventually, you will get to the point that you can appreciate what you have learned in this tough period. It’s also a good idea to get help or have a good friend that you can confide in regularly. Remember that you are not alone by any means and that you will survive, as have thousands of others when dealing with broken relationship grief.

Where you go from this point is up to you.  Do you try and get your ex back or do you move on with your life without your ex?  Only you can know for sure, but whichever it is, you will know.

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Get Your Wife Back Now – Before it’s Too Late

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