The Broken Relationship – Grief
Not many people understand that there are 5 stages to dealing with broken relationship grief. Most people know they feel pain that goes on and on, that lessens and increases accordingly, but understanding that there are actually 5 stages is not something that is very common.
Understanding where you are, what you’re feeling and going through is all part of the rich tapestry of broken relationship grief. There’s no doubt that understanding the process can help you cope with the inevitable pain much easier.
Stage 1 Denial
As the name suggests this is where you do your best to convince yourself that your breakup didn’t really happen. You try and tell yourself that your ex made a mistake, that they’ll be back and it will all be great again.
In this stage, there are often no tears because the reality hasn’t sunk in yet or you are not accepting or even acknowledging your loss.
Stage 2 Anger
This is when you start flying off the handle with your nearest and dearests or your work collegues. You begin to take out your feelings on others.
Stage 3 Bargaining
This is a crucial stage and it can play a huge part in whether you successfully get your ex back or not. At this stage in a broken relationship, you begin to try and tell your ex that you’ll change if they come back! If they come back you’ll love them better than ever! That you’ll buy them that fancy sports car! That you’ll be a better person. Your bargaining might even involve God.
Step 4 Grief
The next step in dealing with broken relationship grief is depression. In this stage you may feel extremely sad or completely overwhelmed with hopelessness, frustration, bitterness, feeling sorry for yourself, and mourning. Here, any unacknowledged emotions have caught up with you and they’re in full force. You see a different future than what you may be used to seeing and feel defenseless and numb.
Stage 5 Acceptance
Finally, and fortunately, you hit the acceptance stage. Here is where you accept the mistakes you have made and the results of those mistakes. Here is where you accept that the person is out of your life, or at least will not play the same role as they have until recently. It’s important to note that acceptance is not resignation. You are not giving up in this stage. On the contrary, it is only now that you can start to gradually build your goals for the future and leave your relationship in the past.
Eventually, you will get to the point that you can appreciate what you have learned in this tough period. It’s also a good idea to get help or have a good friend that you can confide in regularly. Remember that you are not alone by any means and that you will survive, as have thousands of others when dealing with broken relationship grief.
Where you go from this point is up to you. Do you try and get your ex back or do you move on with your life without your ex? Only you can know for sure, but whichever it is, you will know.
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Get Your Wife Back Now – Before it’s Too Late
Can Relationship Self Help Save Your Relationship
You might not know it, but relationship self help is possible, and there are really a lot of things you can do to save your relationship. If money is a problem and you can’t afford a relationship counselor or one of the fancy ebooks, then perhaps self-help is the way to go.
Many people begin to feel that the intimacy levels in their relationships begin to fade over time. They mistakenly believe this means the love is gone, but the truth is that all relationships develop into a pattern of habits and rituals that can often make people feel more like roommates than lovers.
Instead of giving up on your relationship, try using some relationship self help techniques to bring the intimacy levels back to where they were when you first met.
Start Small Talking
Research has shown that couples who engage in regular small talk will experience less arguments and fights throughout their relationship. Connective small talk doesn’t mean bombarding your partner with an hour-long diatribe about every single thing you did during the day.
Small talk is simply sharing opinions or observations from things you did through your day. It also means learning to avoid mono-syllable responses and actually showing a bit of interest in what each other is saying. Ask questions and respond to your partner with positivity.
Make Eye Contact
How many times do you really look your partner in the eye when you talk together? As relationships progress, many people tend to look in the direction of their partner’s eyes, but they don’t make eye contact.
When you first met, eye contact would have been high. Humans react to eye contact as being a positive way to build intimacy. As you become more familiar with each other, this decreases over time, which also leads people to believe the intimacy is dying.
It Doesn’t all Have to Lead to Sex
Learning to touch your partner and encouraging them to touch you too in non-sexual ways can help to increase intimacy. Give your partner a hug without expecting it to lead to anything further. Offer your partner a back massage or a foot rub and don’t have an ulterior motive. Hold hands when you’re out together. These simple forms of physical contact re-establish a level of intimacy and trust in each other that can be very effective relationship self help techniques.
Appreciation
Instead of focusing on the things that annoy you about your partner, try focusing on the things you appreciate about them instead. There must be things about your partner that attracted you to them originally, so spend some time each day focusing on the positive things and don’t waste time concentrating on the annoying traits that everyone has anyway.
Take Some Time Out
Far too many couples fall into a pattern of trying to spend all of their time with their partner. They begin to feel as though their partner is somehow deserting them if they want to spend a little time doing something without their significant other. While it’s normal to enjoy each other’s company, it’s also important to remember that everyone needs a little time out occasionally.
This could be something as simple as going out for a meal or a movie with friends or a coffee with the girls. Research shows that many couples improve their relationships when they display trust and encourage each other to spend a little time doing things they enjoy.
So as you can see, you can start today putting into practice some relationship self help and before you know it you’re taking some real and powerful steps to save your relationship.
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Relationship Rescue Can Save Your Relationship
Relationship Rescue Can Save Your Relationship
It’s fairly common that when you’ve been in a relationship for some time that you both start taking each other for granted and pretty soon what you’re looking at is a relationship rescue.
Perhaps you’ve been arguing with your partner more than usually would or maybe even you’re both passing each other in your home with nothing much to say to each other or work schedules could have you at opposite ends of the day and you never get to see each other.
Whatever the reasons for needing a relationship rescue, take it from me, the sooner you start the better. Because really, there is no need to exist in a relationship as described.
Looking at the attempts that people make to re-kindle their relationships these can range from, romantic meals, trips away and even trying to spice up their love lives. However if what is basically wrong between the two of you is not addressed, then this is really only window dressing that might work for a few weeks and months, but ultimately will not really succeed long term.
Instead, why not check out this list of relationship rescue tactics -
Don’t Lose Appreciation of Your Partner
When you first meet and fall in love with your partner, you are focusing on all that you consider positive and wonderful about your partner. Over time, you begin to take each other for granted, get comfortable with each other and be for you know it, you are focusing on the things about your partner that irritates and annoys you.
You should stop looking at what you consider the negative aspects of your partner, because this will lead to feelings of resentment, which take you off into constant arguing or silent anger, both of which will destroy your relationship.
Find common ground. Make an effort to find things in your partner that you appreciate.
Remember How Lucky Your are to Have Your Partner
Try and appreciate how lucky you are that you and your partner found each other. Many people long for a relationship and never find anyone they can commit to. Think about what your life would be without your partner in it and if that leaves you cold, then remember accident or design could leave you alone. So appreciate your spouse.
Make Sure You Communicate
No matter what you think, your partner can’t read your mind. Fretting and sulking because your spouse hasn’t understood what they did wrong or what they said wrong will get you nowhere except Splitsville!
If you have a beef, tell your partner at the earliest and most convenient opportunity.
Sitting in silence letting a problem brew until you’re at bursting point won’t help.
Remember, relationship rescue is primarily all about finding ways to make absolute sure that your partner understands how you feel and what you think. You have to make sure that you appreciate each other and instead of constantly looking at what’s wrong, look at what’s right.
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