Avoid the Bad Ex – Don’t Try and Get Back With Them
Look back at your relationship! How was it really? Was it a healthy and nurturing relationship or did you feel anxious and worried and put upon in your relationship? Answer honestly and sincerely and that will help you to decide if it’s really worth trying to get back with your ex.
Truth is a relationship that is good for you, worth your time and your effort is one that helps you grow emotionally and stretches you in ways that are healthy. You should not be afraid in a relationship, you should not be frightened to express who you are and you should one hundred per cent not be stopped or hindered in anyway from doing the kind of things that you want to do.
Now what I mean by that last statement is that you have the right as an individual to express yourself in or out of a relationship. It doesn’t mean that if you’re in an exclusive relationship that you can cheat, because that’s what you want to do! It doesn’t mean that you can hit and scream and emotionally blackmail your partner to get your way!
Truth is that it can take time to be honest with yourself and fess up to the fact that your relationship was abusive, but you need to give yourself that time to figure out just what kind of relationship you REALLY had!
So take a step back, look back at what your relationship was, ask a friend who saw your relationship from the outside in and see what they thought.
What you should also realize is that if you were in a controlling relationship and you’ve managed to get out, you may very well feel an enormous pull back to your spouse. This is because what was there – no matter how horrible it was – has gone and you don’t really know how to go forward on your own. You need to give yourself time to realize this and allow yourself to adjust. The temptation to go back just cover over that sense of being lost and alone will be strong, but you’ve taken a huge step to leave and things might feel awful and disastrous right now, but they won’t forever.
If you had a bad ex, I would strongly urge you NOT to try and get your ex back, but to give yourself time and to gradually move forward on your own and then with someone else.
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Magic of Making Up
