The 7 Stages Of Losing Your Love
Losing the one you love can be broken down into 7 clear stages. Where you are and how long you stay in any given stage varies greatly from individual to individual and also what kind of relationship you were in.
Reading through the stages, MAY help you understand what you’re feeling and why you’re feeling it.
1) SHOCK
When our partner walks out on us telling us the relationship is over, the first thing we usually feel is shock. It’s classic human behavior when hit with something traumatic. The body almost shuts down and goes into preservation mode.
2) PANIC
When the shock passes, we head slap bang into panic. We start trying to grab whatever is in reach inorder to stop ourselves going under. That’s why we often do things we regret when we are in panic mode: like calling our ex constantly, showing up at their place of work and causing a scene.
3) CONFUSION
Next we head on into a confused state. We don’t really know where to go and what to do to get back what we had. We might try a mixture of strategies at this point to get our exs back, but because of the state we’re in, none of it will work.
4) DISBELIEF
This is when we try to trick ourselves that our exs will come back to us without us even doing anything. Disbelief or denial, calling it whatever you will, it’s simply us trying to medicate the state we’re in because we can’t cope with it. We simply cannot compute that our ex has left and we find some comfort in this state. If we don’t believe it, then it can’t hurt us! “She/He’ll be back! She/He’s gonna want me back!” Ever found yourself thinking, saying that?
5) DESPAIR
This is when it hits us hard! We begin to break down emotionally because we can no longer hold back the pain that we are feeling. We let in the true emotional pain that we are feeling and it sits heavy on us.
6) LOSS OF A DREAM
This is not really a state in it’s own right, it is simply a realization that the dream of a life that we shared with our ex has gone. It can be a crushing blow when you realize this and it is often this loss that will hold someone in a negative space for longer than any. We just can’t come to terms that the holiday we planned to take with our ex next year will just never happen.
7) GRIEF
We mourn the relationship/the loss of a dream. It is like a death and can often take months and years to get past the grief of a relationship that ended before it had to.
“Stop My Divorce” – How To Try & Rescue Your Marriage
Comments
Magic of Making Up
