Want To “Get Guy Back?” Here’s A Quick Guide To Making Up
Just how do you go about the “get guy back” quest? How can you convince your guy, once he’s left you, to come back to you?
First off, accept that whatever the deal breaker was, you were both to blame. I mean, if you slept out on him, then whichever way you look at, he wasn’t giving you what you needed and that’s why you went looking. If he slept out on you, then it’s you who wasn’t giving him what he needed.
I know it’s not right to blame the one who was cheated on and that’s not what I’m doing, all I’m saying is that something was wrong and it takes two to make and keep something wrong.
If you want to get him back, you have to move on and forgive him. A lot of people talk about ‘forgive’, but you shouldn’t ‘forget’ and of course you will never forget, but if you’re serious about giving it another go with him – you’re truly going to have to forgive whatever he did!
If you have to say you’re sorry for something you did, then you’re going to have to do that and you’re going to have to mean it. In that sorry you’re going to have to explain why you won’t repeat your past behavior and you’re going to have to be convincing.
Guess what, if you want to get this guy back, you might have to do a little bit of chasing him. Not in a stalkerish kind of way with the million texts and the hounding, no! Just let him know you’re still there, you still love him and you’re going to give him a little bit of time and wait for him. This is about parking the ego and putting yourself on the line!
Always remember there’s no absolute. If he won’t or can’t forgive you, there’s a chance you might have to walk away. But that’s not always the end of the world, there are other guys and other relationships out there for you. Give yourself a bit of time and then start over fresh with a guy who will forgive and love you for who you are.
How Well Did You Really Know Your Ex?
How Well Did You Really Know Your Ex?
It’s a valid question and one you should sit and ask yourself BEFORE you even consider getting back with your ex.
Did you REALLY know your ex? Or did you simply enter into a relationship and find yourself in love with someone that it turns out you didn’t really know?
Too often when our partners do something we didn’t expect them to do we are left knocked for six wondering where the hell that kind of behavior came from! We never saw it coming, because the person who we loved and worshipped, who we built our lives around would never have cheated on us, hit us or just down right let us down in a big way.
Well it turns out that we think this because we never asked the right questions when we were getting to know them and or we didn’t hear or see the answers we were getting back.
As I was doing some research I came across a book by Michael Webb called 1000 Questions For Couples. Webb talks the need for us all to take the time to ASK the difficult questions and to LISTEN to the tough answers we get back.
The book has sections of what I call the ‘lovey dovey’ questions – you know the one’s you ask your partner “when was the last time you cried and why?” You know stuff like that.
But it also has some other questions where the answers just might be a deal breaker and save you a ton of heartache in the long run once you discover the deep dark past of your partner.
The book deals with, children, money, beliefs, morals and a whole load of other questions that if you ask me many more couples who are either in a relationship or thinking of making up and getting back together again, really need to ask each other.
You can find out more about this super big book of questions by going to Michael Webb’s website.
1000 Questions For Couples
Was Your Relationship A True Partnership Or A Dictatorship?
Was Your Relationship A True Partnership Or A Dictatorship?
When you and your ex were together, how often did you tell them what to do? Come on, let’s be honest, how often?
Here’s another question, do you like it when people tell you what to do? Nope, I didn’t think so!
“You know you’ve got to fill up my car today, don’t you?” OR “Babe, can you please remember to fill up my car today? Thanks!”
Which one would you like to hear out of your loved one’s mouth? I know which one I’d want.
Familiarity breeds contempt is a classic saying and if you were barking orders at your ex then I gotta say it’s no real wonder they left.
When you order someone to do something what they hear from you is that you have no respect for them and you don’t value them. If someone doesn’t value you, your motivation to do anything for them slowly fades away and it is replaced by resentment.
If you were the one who was ordered around, then all those bad old toxic feelings of resentment are probably resurfacing as you read this right now.
So why do people stay in situations like that? Well love is always a reason that’s thrown in the mix, sometimes sex and feeling trapped, but it all stores up and pretty soon the relationship is in trouble.
If you want to get your ex back or if your relationship is just hanging on by a thread, then you’re going to have to speak up and let your partner know that you’re not going to put up with being ordered around. If your partner’s already left you and you want to get them back, then you’re going to have to recognize this as a behavior pattern in you and work at stopping it.
Remember you want to be part of a partnership not be a single dictator
Magic of Making Up
