Breaking Up Doesn’t Have To Be Hard To Do

January 1, 2009 · Filed Under Breaking Up

1st day of the new year and I thought I’d get into some of the hard stuff and talk a little about what we already know! Breaking up is hard to do, but sometime you’ve just got to go right ahead and do it!

Now I’m a great advocate of making broken relationships work and keep on trying to make them work – as long as there’s still love and respect there. However, there are times when the best thing to do is to cut your losses and move on.

I would suggest that if:

There’s any violence in your relationship, then it’s probably not worth saving.
If your relationship leaves you feeling that you have to apologize for who you are, then it’s probably not worth saving.
If you are constantly giving and giving emotionally and physically, then you need to consider how you want to proceed.

But ending a relationship does not have to be high drama and recriminations. Here’s how you can make an attempt to avoid the drama of a breakup.

Schedule a mutually convenient time for the breakup. In general, it is better to do it in person rather than over the phone.
No matter who you believe is responsible for the breakup, get yourself into a state of compassion when you’re gearing up to end the relationship. There is really no need to throw recriminations around, just state your intent and do it with a some thought to how your ex might be feeling.
Try talking about the things you’ve learned and the memories you will cherish from the relationship and if you can, acknowledge your ex’s part in those memories.
If things go bad, try not to take anything personally. Your partner may say things they don’t really mean. Let these words roll off of your back.
There may be more than one meeting needed between you and your partner to end the relationship, so remember to give your ex what they need to get through this. But also remember that your needs are important too, so don’t become a doormat in your efforts to pave the way for your ex.
Be honest and if you’re sure you want to breakup, then stick to your guns, don’t get guilt tripped into staying into the relationship!

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